Anecdotes

I didn’t update yesterday. It felt like I couldn’t update yesterday. I was already having a pretty brutal day. A part of that is because going to group yesterday filled me with a kind of dread. I know that we had to do the actual beginning of exposure. Yeah, it …

I did it. I just gave up procrastinating and did it. I read what I wrote. And it did what I thought it would. It hurt. I expected it to hurt. That’s what it did. I know I need to keep doing it. Keep facing all those feelings… namely the …

Another day rolls on. I think I’m feeling better… at least for today. I have some time to breathe and relax. I’ve also been not quite doing what I need to do. I need to read what I wrote. I know I’m putting it off. I know why I’m putting …

Last night was more emotionally taxing on me than I thought it was. My SO and I are fostering a dog we were thinking of adopting. After last night, I’m pretty sure that is not going to happen. He likes to chase cats. That wouldn’t be a problem with a …

Another day rolls on. The day after group is going to be a little dodgy. Of course it was hard. Going through exposure therapy is supposed to be hard. It’s gotta be that way. Picking at old scars will do it. It was something that I thought I was passed. …

I know I said I would post twice and didn’t. I’m sorry. I didn’t expect that playing ref between our puppy and the dog we’re fostering would have been so all consuming. I’m not going to lie… I’m not looking forward to group therapy. I’m incredibly nervous to start working …

I’m sorry for not posting yesterday. I was gone most of the day and couldn’t post. That’s OK. I’ll make it up by posting twice today. This process is starting to weigh on me. I knew it would. I knew that there would be days that were harder than others. …

So, as I stated yesterday, I need to single in on one of the more significant events of abuse. Given that there’s 25 years of abuse, that’s quite a bit to shuffle through. Do I start from when I was a child. There’s certainly enough to use there. I have …

The first group therapy appointment just like the first day of school. You get a bunch of hand-outs and get an idea of where group therapy is going. So, it wasn’t really anything unexpected. It’s split into two parts, learning of skills (unfortunately, this is less useful for me as …

It begins today. I start going through the heavy-duty therapy to combat my PTSD. This is something that I’ve been simultaneously excited and terrified of. I know it’s walking forward. That’s what I’m excited about. I’m terrified to have to wallow back through the muck and the mire of feelings …