I didn’t update yesterday. It felt like I couldn’t update yesterday. I was already having a pretty brutal day. A part of that is because going to group yesterday filled me with a kind of dread.
I know that we had to do the actual beginning of exposure.
Yeah, it was that brutal.
I had a feeling I was going to have to do it. I was right. At first I figured, “Do it. Get it over and done with.”
Actually doing it was mush more difficult.
I apparently still have a lot of anger hurt attached to the memory I was processing. It was a very taxing process. I still feel quite mentally taxed.
This process is still pretty difficult.
Now I get the fun task of listening to the story I told over and over until it doesn’t have the same effect on me.
I’m not going to lie. I don’t want to do it.
However, what I want to do and what I need to do are two entirely different things.
Lets see if I can do it.