That’s right, it’s back. If you haven’t read it before, here are the previous installments.
The truth was, were it not for them being discovered in the public bath during their school trip, they might have never had a break. The upper classman that found them together threatened him. Well, more him than his boyfriend. His boyfriend had nothing really left in his life. He remembered talking to him about it one drunken night after band practice.
“Why did you choose that name?”, he asked.
His boyfriend shrugged. He looked down feeling a bit ashamed.
“A-after y-you and I-I st-started g-going out t-together m-my father s-saw us t-together.”, his boyfriend says.
“Where? How?”, he asked, quite a bit shocked by hearing this.
“Y-you know that d-day we w-were lying by the r-river after K-Kendo p-practice?”, his boyfriend asks.
He nodded as he thought about that day. It came back so incredibly vividly. He could feel the grass tickle his lower back and the back of his arms. That was the day they found a generally abandoned bank to enjoy each other on. They had recklessly made out.
“M-my f-father s-saw us there w-when we w-were making o-out.”, he continued, “W-when I g-got h-home he b-beat me.”
All the blood had drained from his face. He wanted to hold this poor, broken man in front of him. No matter how badly he wanted to, he just couldn’t bring himself to do it.
“H-he called m-me f-fag and p-pussy. H-he kept on b-beating me u-until h-he p-passed o-out.”, his boyfriend finished as he lightly kicked the ground with his toe.
“I’m… I’m so sorry.”, he responded.
He had never realized that anyone in his family had found out. He had never told him. Of course, if he had, what good would that have done.
“W-when I-I g-got the j-job at the h-host c-club, I h-had t-to ch-choose a n-nickname. G-given w-what I h-had j-just gone t-through… I-I thought i-it w-was appropriate.”, he finished.
“Is that why you still use it for the band?”, he asked, not entirely sure if he wanted to know the real reason.
“I-it’s n-not the o-only r-reason.”, his boyfriend answered.
When his boyfriend looked at him, his eyes were ringed with tears.
He couldn’t help but look away. He knew what the other reason was. He wanted to take away that lingering pain. It was causing him pain to know that he had wounded this poor creature before him. Even worse was that he wanted to hold him, to tell him that he still loved him. He knew if he did that, that there would be no turning back. He was lost thinking that he had hurt someone he still loved so deeply, but I can’t think that way, feel that way.
He started to reach out to him, but stopped himself. He shook his head.
“I’m so sorry, I had no idea that it was that bad. I didn’t know that your family knew…”, he responded with a hanged head.
(To be continued in two weeks… really this time)