The next major event that I remember was my mom not really being there for me. At the time, my mother was undiagnosed for bipolar. She was medicating how worked best for her at the time. While I understand that, it also meant that I had to step up and …
Since I’m enjoying feeling less encumbered from having done a lot of work on dealing with my rape, I figured maybe I should tackle the bigger and scarier monster in my closet. This is one that I wish that I didn’t have, let alone have the need to kill it …
Sometimes it’s weird how these chains of thought develop even when one processes through all their personal stuff. I didn’t think I was going to find this whole new random thread among the clutter of others. But as I was writing about my rape again (because each time I find …
I made a promise to myself this year. It’s a pretty big goal, especially because I gave it a deadline, but I tend to look at things and tear them apart to make sense pretty quickly. Every time I listen to music from when I was in high school, it …
I’ve been having issues with my insomnia last night. I fell asleep relatively early, especially by my standards. When I woke up in the middle of the night, my partner told me that David Bowie had died. Now, of course, my first response to that is going to be, “Are …
Life hasn’t been very generous to me as of late. Then again, how often is life generous to anyone? At this point there are plenty of instances that make me question many things… and to a degree I feel myself occasionally dipping into despair. While I wish I could say …
Since I seem to be having huge issues with insomnia as of late (not too terribly surprising), I figured that I would write out things since my brain is keeping me awake (I’ve been up since 3:30). And every time I try to sleep, it feels like a have a …
I did something that was both incredibly difficult and something I know I needed to do. I went back to the school where I was raped. When I got there, I saw that getting on to campus was going to be easy. While the campus is surrounded by a fence, …
Nights are getting rough… and I’m not really sure why. Why is all of this being really heavily triggered. Why is my feeling of isolation so strong? Why does my heart feel so heavy? What the fuck is going on that I feel so damn depressed? This is bugging the …
There’s one thing that helps me handle life sometimes. Life is ironic. No matter what you think will happen, life likes to take that sharp right turn and taking you down a road that you don’t expect. Unfortunately, for me, I’m starting to expect the bad things. It seems to …
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