If you’re interested in reading the previous 14 installments, you can find them here.
He walks over to the exit of the station.
“Almost home.”, he thinks as he feels the light of day once again on his face.
He doesn’t want to approach his boyfriend as conflicted as he feels, however he has little say in the matter. That conflict is still there. He takes a deep breath and takes in the landscape around him… one of urban Tokyo.
“Remember,” he thinks, “Remember that you’re not alone in this world. Ever since you met him you’ve never been alone in this world.”
Once that thought begins to sink in, his brain calms down just a little.
“Besides, talk with your boyfriend about your fears. I’m sure he’ll help assuage your fears as best he can.”, he continues to think, “I’m pretty sure my parents knew something was up in the first place with him way back in high school.”
He keeps repeating those two phrases over and over again. The more he did it, the more it calmed him. The easier it was to make his way back home.
“Yes, home. A place that has felt more like home than any other place I’ve lived.”, he thinks as he begins to make a beeline to his boyfriend’s abode.
Once inside the building he walked as quickly as he could to the apartment. He threw open the door and pronounced, “Honey, I’m home.”
A quiet moment passes as he waits for a response.
“Huh… I wonder if anybody’s home.”, he wonders as he walks over to the couch.
His boyfriend’s apartment always looks so clean. It’s hard to believe that there are two bachelors living here. That could be because he has a maid who cleans once a week. Of course, it’s largely the living areas. The bedroom on the other hand…
“Right, that’s probably where they are.”, he says.
He walks across the large glass window that faces the Shinjuku night.
“Should I…”, he starts to think.
He pauses for a moment, looking out the big window.
It just occurred to him that he’s never really seen the two of them together before.
“How…”, he says quietly, “How do I feel about…”
His face pales a little. He’s willing to accept virtually anything, do virtually anything for his boyfriend. Does he really want to see what his boyfriend does with another partner?
He shakes his head. He walks towards the window. He puts a hand on it as he watches the people walking around below him. From his height they people look small, almost ant-like. He rests his forehead on the glass and sighs.
“How did we end up here?”, he quietly asks himself.
(To be continued…)