Since I won’t be posting next week (largely because I’ll be at Comic-Con), I’m bringing you the next installment of the story. You can find previous installments here.
“I-it’s O-OK. I-I d-didn’t w-want y-you to know. I-I didn’t w-want you t-to w-worry.”, his boyfriend said with a sad smile.
He places the back of his arm to his forehead. He becomes lost in his thought as he feels the train shudder a bit under his head.
“I can’t believe that he still wanted to be with me… even after all that.”, he thinks, “This has got to be a testament to something.”
He shrugs as he hears the name of his stop over the loudspeaker.
A big, goofy grin breaks out over his face as he exits the train. He almost staggers as if he were drunk, but that’s hardly the case. His mind is awash with the thoughts of being back in his boyfriend’s arms.
He takes a moment and sits down in the station to compose himself. He knows that he needs to control himself better. He’s still feel pretty aroused. He doesn’t want to attack his boyfriend the second that he sees him.
“Well, I’m almost back home.”, he thinks as he begins to collect his thoughts.
He wasn’t sure when he left if he could really go through with it. If he could ask her to join him on this somewhat crazy trip. Telling her exactly what was going on was a huge risk. One where he still has no idea where it might lead. He might still lose his family over this. The only person he might have left that would be close to him might wind up being his boyfriend and his lover.
And then there’s the lover. He’s not entirely sure about him. Maybe it’s an inherent distrust of gaijin. Maybe it’s the fact that the lover keeps hitting on him. He’s not sure what it is about him, but he makes him feel a bit uneasy.
Another though crosses his mind as he starts to feel uneasy.
“What if the reason I feel uncomfortable around him is because I want him as well. He is fairly hot, even if he is a gaijin.”, he thinks, “And we do seem to share a chemistry…”
He shakes his head.
“No, I can’t get involved there. Any talk we do of being intimate is largely to see my boyfriend squirm…”, he thinks, “Well, I think it is….”
He sighs and hangs his head.
There are too many things going through it now. He can’t doubt his decision. He knows that if he didn’t tell her that he really wanted to be with him that things would never change… She would just fade out of his life eventually, never knowing that he found what he really wanted. She would never get the chance to get over being angry. He might have lingering guilt from this whole process.
Then there’s his boyfriend, his wonderfully, beautiful boyfriend. The boy he found who is so much more than a lover. The boy who has brought so much meaning into his life. The one person he shared his firsts with: his first kiss, his first time with anything sexual, his first love.
“I still can’t believe that, even though we lost a few years, that I would be back with him. I had always hoped I would…”, he thinks, “But I never dreamed that this could happen.”
A grin creeps back across his face as he stands up.
(To be continued in two weeks)