Writing and Self-Realization

There are moments where you start finding what your path in life is. Those times are usually met with some form of intellectual realization that what you’re doing is what feels right.

Sometimes they come after long nights of pondering of some form of thinking about the self. Sometimes they come out of nowhere. Sometimes they come from action.

I’ve always enjoyed writing. It’s something that has been great for catharsis for me. It’s been a great way to express myself. It’s helped me work through some dark times in my life.

More than anything, it’s something that’s helped me find a voice. Considering that I’m an incredibly shy person and feel awkward meeting new people, finding this voice is an amazing thing. I feel empowered to tell my stories to the world. I can talk about things that have happened through analogy or creating characters.

When I think about what I’m supposed to be doing in my life, I always come back to writing. I can’t see myself working in an office for the rest of my life. I get no enjoyment doing it. I’m not a sales person. The only other thing that I think would bring me enjoyment is being a teacher.

I’m just not sure it would give me the same exuberance that I feel when I write. After working on my screenplay yesterday, I felt an overwhelming happiness. It’s a sensation that I’m not sure I have the words to describe. It felt like that’s what I need to be doing with my life.

What if jobs writing paid like any other job?

I think that would make me ultimately happy. I could sit and write and not worry about finances. Then again, that would also put us back in the times of patronage of the arts (and I’m sure a lot of artists would love to have a patronage).

All I can do is keep up with my writing, practice my craft.

I do know that I will keep writing. It’s something that I do enjoy greatly.