The previous installments
“There are times that it makes me sad. I wish sometimes that we could have what we had in high school. At the same time, I’m glad that he has found happiness with both of us. While there are times that I feel hurt… largely when I’m by myself and he’s with him, I’m grateful that he’s willing to come back to me.”, he explains.
Her fingers tap impatiently on her arm.
“And when he does, he reassures me that he still wants me. That he still loves me. That he wants me romantically in his life.”, he finishes.
“And you expect the same thing of me?”, she asks tersely.
“I would like it, yes. I just don’t expect it.”, he says.
He takes another deep breath and moves closer to her.
“Look, I still love and care for you. I want nothing more for you to share my life with me. I also want the same with him… with my boyfriend.”, he says, exhaling.
He finally said it out loud to her. He didn’t know if he could tell her that. Look at her face, he’s still not sure if she can accept it. It was the hardest thing for him to say for so long. And there it is, hanging in the air. Once the word boyfriend escaped his lips, he knew that it felt right for him to say.
He sighed with relief. He could finally openly admit that he was having a relationship, emotionally, romantically, with another man. It’s something that he had to hide when he was in high school. While he was still afraid for whatever retribution was going to come from her and his family, at least he knows he could finally be honest with himself. Something that he would constantly hear from his boyfriend.
“Let me see if I got this straight.”, she starts, “So, you’ve been living with your boyfriend for two months. You came back here to talk to me because, while you’re with him, you still want to be with me. “
He nods as he follows her string of logic.
“Which makes no sense to me, because how can you like men and women both.”, she continues.
He opens his mouth. He closes it as he realizes that it might be best to let he continue working through this logically.
“And you want me to share you with him…”, she says.
The word him comes out angrily. Her face distorts in almost rage when she says the word him.
“Is that what you’re asking?”, she finishes.
“I know it’s a lot to ask…”, he says, “But yeah, that’s what I’m asking.”
(To be continued)