Tonight another year comes to an end (at least according to the Gregorian calendar). As is standard with each end of the year, everyone looks back at the last year. They think what will be different next year, what will be better, what can I change.
I don’t think I could sum up this year in an easy phrase or even a single word. It was diverse, but not necessarily in a completely positive way.
There were a lot of good things that came out of this year. I did things that I had thought of doing. I also came across some setbacks. And while I would like to change some of those setbacks, they’re not for me to change.
The biggest setback I had this year was still not being able to get a job. This was not for lack of trying. I did send out my résumé. I did what I felt I could do best. And I waited. This year wasn’t great for me getting a job. It doesn’t mean that I feel discouraged from even trying again, it does mean that I will need to keep trying until something actually works.
I still have some issues with social anxiety. I never used to be anxious about going out and being around new people… at least not to the degree that I am now. I am shy by nature, so being around new people is hard. This year, it felt like going out to be around people I didn’t know was like pulling teeth. This is something I need to work on. I need to get out more. I need to do more social things even though my brain is telling me no. More importantly I have to get over those many old demons of ex-boyfriends, ex-friends and family telling me that there’s nothing about me to like, that I’m the weird kid in the corner. It’s going to be an ongoing process, but something that I need to get past.
Now, on to the positive things.
I finally, after 33 years, discovered what was making me so sick. It was definitely one of those clouds parting and sun coming out moments. For as long as I can remember, I have always felt a little sick. I always felt cloudy-headed and run down.
Once I stopped eating gluten, it all cleared up. It’s a pretty major revelation that makes me happy to this day. It’s something that I need to keep doing to keep myself happy and healthy. I also plan on being more active this year and spending more time on my bicycle.
I’ve done a lot more writing this year. I finished 2 screenplays and started the third. I wrote a lot more here on this blog. I tried to stay more active with my writing, but I think I did a pretty damn good job this year and will do better next.
I finally made the trip to Comic Con. It was something that I didn’t think was possible as I knew how quickly it sold out. As many of you know, it was a pretty big thing for me to go to. It was socially overwhelming (over 100K people), as well as it was a major step forward in working towards my career. I do plan to return next year (I already bought next year’s badge) and will cover it again. Who knows what will happen at next year’s Comic Con.
In doing all of this I have better re-grouped as myself a bit better. I’m more focused on what I want to do and what needs to be done. I’ve made myself a slightly better version of myself. In every year, that’s all I have ever wanted to do… become a better me.
So, to end this year I would like to thank all you readers. Thank you to the new readers who have just discovered my writing. I would also like to thank my long time readers. You both are equally invaluable. I thank you for taking the time to read this blog.
Thank you, and may next year be even better than the last.