Thinking and Contemplating

It’s interesting.

I went out Monday night to do some dancing and to see a fashion show by one of my favorite designers. I haven’t been going out as often. I’ve felt more cagey about wanting to go out. I’m tired of being home all the time, but I also have grown weary of people. I’m not sure if that’s the stress or if it’s me dealing with PTSD… but I just find myself wanting to deal with people less.

Regardless, I went out Monday night because I wanted to see the h.Naoto fashion show and do some dancing.

And while I was there I saw two more people who I never wanted to see. The ex-boyfriend that was abusive to me for… well, pretty much the entire relationship and the ex-roommate who overstepped so many personal boundaries that I no longer have any interest in ever wanting anything to do with her again. Seriously, it felt like the universe was just going to explode. It was like two beings of anti-matter were inhabiting the same place.

I didn’t let it get to me. Even though I knew they were there… I didn’t let it get to me.

I still danced and enjoyed the night.

And then there was the fashion show. I liked the clothing (not a surprise, I love h.Naoto and his purposeful deconstruction of his designs). But while I was standing there I came up with an idea. I think it’s simultaneously a good and bad idea.

I was looking at the clothing and thinking, “You know… I think that I can see this kind of clothing in my movie.”

So, I now think I want to actually look through clothes and come up with the clothing to wear for some of the characters.

I also got the distinct feeling like the pieces were falling into place. It almost feels as though all the chaos I’ve been through in my life, that finally some kind of order is starting to happen.

I don’t know if I can explain it more succinctly than that.

It feels that things are starting to line up like they’re supposed to.

As for the partial styling of the screenplay. I should probably start that soon. It’s going to take some time…